UK Top 40 Watch - Edition #3 (Feat. Loreen, Usher, Carly Rae Jepsen, Cheryl)

This week’s top 40 saw Cheryl hit number one, while Carly Rae Jepsen, Fun and Gotye all managed to hang in the top 20. I can safely report that none of the songs in this week’s chart will mark you out as ‘cool’ if you listen to them.

Best song of the week: Loreen - Euphoria (no. 20)

I am a big fan of everything Scandinavian, so you can imagine my delight when Loreen took Eurovision back to Sweden, especially because no one does pop music better than the Swedes. ‘Euphoria’ gradually builds up into well, a euphoric chorus, which is a bit like if you were travelling through clouds and then finally you reach the sky and light. Then all the club beats come in and everything gets really dancey and awesome, until she rhymes ‘infinity’ with ‘divinity’ but we can let that embarrassment slide. Loreen also spoke out against the human rights abuses in Azerbaijan before her Eurovision entry, so it’s safe to say she’s a righteous dude.

         Worst song of the week: Usher - Scream (no. 8)

There was definitely a point in my life where I thought Usher was really fucking cool. Sadly that day is no more. This song should be renamed ‘ooh baby baby’ because the ratio of ‘ooh baby baby’s to screaming is significantly in the formers favour. The phrase isn’t even real English, and also incredibly inappropriate considering this song is not about chubby, ugly six month old kids but about SEX. Yes, surprising news for all but this is a ballad in which the narrative portrays Usher wooing a foxy lady. I’m pretty sure I have heard this same song with different names about 100 times over the past 5 years. An interesting statistic which showcases how bloody dull some of the chart can be now.

Guilty pleasure: Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe (no. 12)

This song has been around for a while but the pleasure just will not diminish no matter how much I want it to. Despite the fact Carly Rae Jepsen is not a sweet teenager like I assumed, but in fact TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD, you cannot shake ‘Call Me Maybe’. It will swirl around your head for days, you’ll start slipping the lines into conversation until all you can do is sing ‘Call Me Maybe’. That bit at the beginning which sounds like music from Sims, the chorus to beat all choruses, the surprisingly funny video, I can’t get enough of it all. And if you don’t get the Carly-hype yet, watch her doing this song with Jimmy Fallon and the Roots. They all look so happy in it you will not fail to enjoy yourself. Also we all want Carly to call us maybe, am I right?

Number One: Cheryl - Call My Name

Is Cheryl trying to get in on the Carly calling hype or what? Unfortunately everyone’s favourite member of Girls Aloud can’t quite make it to the intoxicating pop highs of ‘Call Me Maybe’, even though bits of this track do sound like a Jamie XX remix. As catchy as this little ditty is, I wish Cheryl would just get Girls Aloud back together for the good of humanity AND PRONTO. Or make ‘Fight for This Love’ be number one again. Now that was a brilliant song.

Jessy Parker Humphreys